Oh Atlanta!

All these cities I've been writing about and nary a word for the one in which I lay my head at night. It's time to talk about the best of the Engle Martin cities, Atlanta. That's right, I said "best". And I'll tell you something else - no one but me seems willing to write this stuff so here's what you get when you read about Atlanta - ME as your tour guide.

First, some important rules to live by. Now, our coworkers who also reside in the Atlanta area may disagree, but as I've already pointed out, they're not writing this so their opinions will be blatantly ignored here.

1. Never go outside the Perimeter. What's out there? Strip malls and sea monsters.

2. If, for some horrible reason, you are forced to go anywhere outside the Perimeter, be sure you've got a full tank of gas (maybe throw a spare gallon or two in the trunk just in case), some provisions and if you can swing it, a guide, sort of like a suburban Sherpa.

3. When you go to the Braves game, do not leave before the game is over. What is up with hordes of people streaming out of the stadium after the 6th inning? Those poor suckers are going to miss the big group love of the 7th inning stretch, the exhilarating race between the hammer, the drill and the saw (my money's always on the drill because it's the only one powered by electricity), and the Braves blowing their 5-run lead at the bottom of the 8th. This is all part of The Atlanta Experience.

4. The traffic here is the worst in the entire world. That, in some twisted way, makes it the best. Don't come down here from DC, telling your little "horror stories" about the Beltway, OK? It's rude. Ours is the worst, we'll tell you all about it, don't even try to compete with it.

5. We do not live in Georgia. We live in Atlanta. Those are very different places.

OK, now that we've got those minor items covered, let's carry on to a day in the life of a Good Atlantan (Me).

It's another beautiful morning in Atlanta, time to get in a workout before you set off to work at your for your fantastic TPA. Better take your faithful pooch with you when you take a brisk walk through the either the beautiful campus of Agnes Scott College or Emory University or perhaps along the PATH...maybe through Piedmont Park (sort of home to Atlanta's gorgeous Botanical Gardens). No matter where you choose to walk, you will return home so covered with pollen you and your dog are both fuzzy and yellow.

Showered and changed, you set off on your commute through the worst traffic in the entire world. There are so many quirky coffee shops along your route it's difficult to know which one to choose (you are momentarily troubled by the fact that you eschewed your own espresso machine in your kitchen and are now wasting money and time to patronize one of the neighborhood shops. Don't worry, you're stimulating the economy.) You opt for Gathering Grounds in the historic Kirkwood neighborhood, right next to your own, only slightly superior, East Lake neighborhood, because the delightful woman who owns the shop is always there, always pleasant and, even though you're only there maybe once a week, remembers what you order.

At last you arrive at the office! Here in Atlanta, our offices are housed in an emerald castle. When you enter, you're greeted by singing, dancing munchkins and spirited away to your desk by a horse of a different color (this time of year, they're all actually yellow, but that's because of the pollen). After an extremely productive morning you're about to eat the lunch you brought with you but are convinced by coworkers that you should instead go out with them. Now then, where to go? There are so many options that you'll need to square away an extra 15 minutes to argue about it. In the end, I win (it's my post remember) and we go to Cafe Posh for the best paninis in the city.

The afternoon is even more productive than the morning and always includes at least one major song and dance number in which all the employees join the munchkins. Now it's time to go but you're not quite ready to leave the company of your coworkers. Where to? Usually some place in Buckhead. See? Here's some of our number at Frankie's (Sandy Springs, even) and...I don't know where that other one was taken. I'm thinking that's Frankie's too...sometimes we get in a rut, you know? But the point is, we gather. Oh yes. The glorious Buckhead neighborhood contains some stunning homes, beautiful old-growth trees and the lots of and lots and lots of shops. If you like shopping...meet me once you've gotten that out of your system, I'll be having a beer. As has been mentioned earlier in this blog, The Brickstore (nowhere near Buckhead) is the best pub in Atlanta, period. While touring the city with me, you'll definitely go there.

Well, it's a school night, so we better head home. If you hang out for the weekend, though, we can go to the aquarium, the zoo, the World of Coke, the High Museum, Oakland Cemetery, The Fernbank (museum of natural history), the Dekalb Farmer's Market, Stone Mountain (check out our giant rock!), a concert at Variety Playhouse, The Roxy, The Tabernacle, Chastain, Lakewood, or perhaps Philips Arena, a festival (there's always a festival somewhere) and we will eat. Oh how we will eat! Maybe over some fantastic food we'll talk about the great projects Atlanta is doing for Labor Day in May.

Really, there's just too much to do in a single weekend, so y'all come back!